The cost of down time

This has been a tough week. A stubborn leg infection that refused to go away, provided me with lots of down time. Time to think about my health, and how we change in subtle notes. Degrees of change come slowly, then one day, it all hits. This infection was particularly nasty in that it decided to take a trip around my body, stopping here or there for visits of various endurance and misery inflicted upon my psyche, and skin. The leg was the mother lode though, and it was here i experienced genuine fear. Real palpable fear about my survival and my mortality. I realized then I didnt want to die, that I have much to much to do and experience. As a matter of fact, my life is just starting, and the first 50 years has simply been an introduction into different hazy lands of other times, places, experiences, and people. I only have my memory to tell me of these past events, and dreams they come much stronger, and much more relevant. Anyhow, i suffered, all week wioth swollen fires and itching, different pills, different skills, but mainly doing nothing, you see, I'm a huge baby when it comes to pain, pain makes all my magnificent philosophical renderings obsolete and hypocritical. I turn into a monster mush of whining babble, and crying scared, while jumping up and down, like an overexcited bird let out of the cage. This "infection/rash/skin disorder has gobbled up 2 to 3 weeks of valuble pre and piost election time. A time of school. A time of learning. A time of knowledge. All wasted, except for the one lesson that maybe i learned, but i doubt it. That is, my health supercedes all else, for if you're not on, the rest doesnt really matter, and depending how far you're gone, the rest just goes away, fades like worn out dust upon the wondow sill. like memories of the past i still forget, but need to realize trhe things i need to pull out of that crazy time. the things i need to make a balance in my life, to justify the first 50 years somehow, to find a reason for all that wasted time. To understand why i have to start so late, and still not effective, but better than i was.

I have some catch up, we shall see if i can do this, or i fall into a slump. I really have it easy, but my laziness does trump me, and procrastrination reigns supreme. Obama is the man, as I expected, and secretly, I'm very very proud of this country once again. I'm glad we fooled the world this time, and showed just how crazy we can be. Just when you thought we were all a bunch of ignorant prejudice hicks running back to mother church, we stood outside and pulled the levers many times and showed you all, that all that really matters is who you are inside, and whether you are honest with yourself, and have no games to hide. For all the rest can fall away, all the baggage doesnt have to stay. Thats what Obamas proved to me, He proved that we can break away from our past. That any of us, can take tomorrow, and change in any way we want. What people see and judge is simply how we present ouselves to be. If we think we are a drug addict, we will always act that way, if we think we are the president, then that will come to play. Doubting the power of labels is the gift Obama gave to us all. You can come at it from anywhere, anytime, and do it your way, you can reinvent yourself, and your life, and the beauty of it is, you have a new chance every single day for the rest of your life. Everyday is a new opportunity, no m,atter what happened the day before, it doesnt matter, because you always start with what you have, not with what you dont have. You start the morning and assess, and first you should feel blessed, that you are still alive and have yourself. For that is all you need to change, you, yourself, and the new day. Life provides the rest. Life is a pallette laid our beofre you with all the pieces in play, a beauty masterpiec of creation, and it is your toy , your starting gate., your fantasy, your decision, you have the total freedom to do whatever it is you want to use the creation masterpiece. It will adjust as you adjust, and fill you in as you will know, for you are not seperate from it all, and that is where the biggest mystery ,comes, for everyone can only see themselves as a seperate object looking out at everything, but away from everything, but thats the greatest thing that fools us, and makes us all depressed when we never have to be depressed, when we can realize this whole creation is sitting there for us to us as we see fit. , the beauty is we can leave it alone and it will go on doing what it has to do, but since we are alos part of the game, sometimes it will react with us, now instead of waiting for it to react, we can pick up the game , go out into the game, and it will bend and shape itself to our wishes and desires. i am real only because i have made myself real. no one else is responsible for who i am or where i am, ofr what i am at this moment, becuase, if i dont like it, guess what?? Tommorrow looms right around the corner, waiting, waiting... waiting to take me into a brand new day, and a brand new play. Oh sure, the memories exist , but all they are are blueprints of thiongs they way id like them to be. Memory is not reality, but simply another tool to use for our game of change.

And after all, isnt this what its all about....

Wasnt that the theme of this, the greatest presidential race in our history, the most im[portant presidential race in our history, and why? Bwecause the game is set up now, where everything could truly end, if one is not careful, there are 2 distinct paths to follow, and in our infinite collective wisdom, we picked the right path. Sometimes we stray, but humans have that kn ack for knowing when the shit is about to hit the fan, and they always come back,

and change

Change

Change

theres that magic word again

Change

what is life??

Every minute, of every day, of every year, of every second, of every nano-second, guess what??

something has moved, or done work, or gone to a different state, or a duifferent place in time, or space. in other words time, and space, and life , and the universe all exist because of one thing, one thing that is constant for all the laws of ohysics, and biology, and history, and cosmology, and even spirtuality, the one thing that never changes is change, the one thing that always changes is change. Everything is always changing, time even changes. nothing is ever the same, ever!!! EVer, ever, again. This means, that every tiny second of every day, a million new realites are born and die in an instant. Am illion trillion billion new positions, states of matter, speeds of matter, positions of matter, millionsand billions and trillions of new thoughts , feelings emotions, that will never ever be experieonced again, because everything is always changing , and nothing can ever be the exact same thing it was because ieverything has changed making that initial condition impossible to copy. So, a million billion new thoughts can exist within us every second, and then then float off, and are replaced instantkly with new ones. The beauty of life, and our brains, is we have intruments that slow it all down, and allow us to measure, to stop a thought and suspend it for awhile. and then act on that thought, so life actually has the ability to change itself and its reality, even while reality is changing all the time and life is part of that reality. life can change witghin the change, amking for all the beatiful patterns you see in mathematics, its recursived and inclusive and it never stays the same although imprints of patterns are left in memroies residue. our minds are finely tuned instruments designed to work within the ever present changing chaNGE. We did not evolve away from the u8niverse, but we evolved inside the universe, as part of the universe, so who should have a better , i mean the best underastanding of the universe. Of course, we do, and we've had it all along. We are the universe, brought back on itself, to recreate what cant be created ever again, we have that fleeting synapsis, that moment of fake delay, that illusion of time within our brains, that allows us to react to change, it allows us to step into change and change the change itself. Through our brilliant and integrated design, we have created out own little reality machine, with all the necessary tools we need to jump into this incredible game and play, play, play. but what would a game be if iit didnt seem real, and yes tyhe consequences are real in the gasme, if you break the rules for staying in, you go away, you lose the game, but youve never really lost anything, you just become with everything once again, you are one. but for now, with our intricate set up of mass, anmd mind, we can stopthe carousel, we can actually have free will in a free wheeling universe if nothing can ever ben the same, then nothing can be predicted either,, our brains see patterns and that is how we stop, that is how we create our illusions just enough to slip into the game of universe, just enough to slip and slide and move and groove, and get our nut, we even have the ecstacy of sexual pleasure, to motivate and move us along. So take what the universe has invented, and given you though all this evolving into time, take this gift that doesnt judge, it doesnt have a right or wrong, it simply opens up and allows you to take whatever you want from it. you can create your own, make it what you want, it sits there moving right along oblivious to you in judgement but a part of you in creation and reaction to your creations. Every day, is easier than trying to imagine a new you every second, so we'll stick with changing our lives every new day. Every morning you wake up and are still in the game, is a day to be happy, and now, you have all the tools you need, that morning. You have you, and you have the universe. Take it, go out there and taske it, have a blast , have fun, explore all the possibilities , iots never ending and its infinite whast you can do, but only if you want it. nothing or noonme is going to change you, nothing or noone is going to make you happy. once you see the beauty of it all, once you see the freedom youve been given to do with as you please, and all the tools are laid out for you, its just a matter of you goping out and finding them and using them, once you see and understand this, only then can you begin to touch on something more. only then are you touching in a mirrored sense, on the very edges of areas we cant really know, but only bielieve, and in that belief comes your facing with the wpiritual, then you touch upon the ultimate and awesome beauty , power , wisdom, and glory of all that is, and how its all set up in such a way, that everything must only work , when you go out and make it work, the beauty of god can then shine into your soul, and fill you with a feeling beyond feelings, then , knowing what is right , and real, and whole, of knowing what is truth, and light, and warmth, of knowing what is infinite, and never ending in the world of constant change. the bedorck of your very core. The stamp of your existence, the very reason we exist , can then become so clear, and if you realize this, if you touch hands weith god, dutring this time, your life as you know it here, your creation blends into wisdom of everything, when you know, the why of all that is, the why makes all the beauty, the beauty of the mystery, the beauty of the change, the beauty of the soul, the beauty of the mind, the beauty of the heart. the beauty of the game, touching hands with god at dawn, touching hands with yourself, seeing the only true power, that overcomes it all, the absolute and blindingly everpresent feeling and force of existence, the whole reason we are here, the whole reason for us feeling and living and dying, and knowing and not knowing and playing and existing, That almighty, above almightiest. The one and only thing that doesnt change my friend.

The one shining bedorck, the one thing greater than change, the one that shines forever, and then forever and a day

The thing we always strive for, but never seem to fully understand, the thing we always want, but we never seem to make it there

And, my fellow travellers

That power is

LOVE

The power of love

Love is real, Real is Love

Love is all, All is love

Love is you, Love is me

Love never changes

What we can be

Love never changes,

Love doesnt die

Love doesnt live with time

Love is the universe

The universe is love

We all know tuis deep inside

We all know this to be be the ultimate truth/

Love is all the answers

weve been searching for all our lives

Love is all we ever need

Love

Love

Love

I love you all, god bless, got on with your lives and make a difference out there

, and remember, you are here, to make a difference, you are here to make a change

and really , thats all that matters,

If you can bring one smile to a childs face,

or help one old man feel comfort, and he lays in dying at the end

If you can make just one timy thing

a little better than it was

Then you are part of us

and you are part....................

of

Love

Pete

"