open pages from still heavy hearts

Sometimes when it's getting dark
I've got time to think about
All the places that I've been
All the people that I know

Still when I turn to go inside
Feels like part of me has died
That lonely feeling creeping in
Can't escape it, can't begin

I try to think
how it would be
to start over
you and me

was that magic'
that we had
chasing good love after bad

but i felt free
for the first time in my life
i felt so free
with her

now, back out on the road
its a cold and lonely place
back into the fold
staring at the empty spaces in my mind

have i forgotten how to be so kind
my hearts rolled up
and fighting off the burn

the aching tenderness i never learn
once more down that waterfall
hiding with the rest beneath the wall

dont you call
why wont you say
that its the end

silence that i can't fight and never win
run to set the flagpole once again
hike the wounded mountains
look for sin

outrageous little bright spots from within
break down with the suns forgotten hymn

for awhile i almost started to believe
that things like miracles could be acheived
that maybe some one was watching over me
take a few steps and go to see

the crashing of the stone reality
brought me back to this place that i see

stone cold rotten sober
aint no fun
pickin up the pickle on the run
easy to get stoned and watch the sun

black as night and day wrapped into one
look out at the sky its where she is
somewhere over there i feel the urge
to go find her forget this all went down
let me see her pretty face i run around
but i dont go

the heart that i once had is ticking slow
reflecting all the things i have to know
hoping only brings an early snow

so posting time seems like the only way to go
no more plans, and no more dreams
they all fall down really hard or so it seems
every hope every dream so filtered out

now it every other day i do without
just follow the stream
dont care inbetween
dont out muscle here

control all my fears
is the key

making something new out of whats left of me

faking the zoo like the people that read
way to much
following rhymes that dont touch
looking for hearts that aint much
and burning down slow in the muck

stand up on top of the hill
who cares if its lightning that kills
visions will send for you then

this thing we call life wants a friend
so take it on up , to the end

be proud of yourself
for you fought a good fight
and you didnt cave in
to the men with the might

you held on
to all youve got
and survived all the storms
all the plagues and the rot

stronger and wiser you'll never admit
when your heart gets all broken
theres no changing it
even time can stand still
then go rushing down the hill
and the years will go by but you still want to cry
for the beauty you shared somehow never you shared
the feelin you cared, was it real or just shit
the cost of desire was as big as it gets
love is a part of you never forget
love is still with you, you never lose it
open your eyes , and let someone in
love has a way to find you again
love will take care, love will be there
open your heart
and good luck my old friend